Hey over here:
Now, I know that CD sleeps a lot. That's just how it goes. However, there is a detail that most people don't know, so I'm sorta telling you a secret, that secret is CD is very clever. He gets all his cleverness from sleeping and hiring other people to do his work for him. He may or may not have a split personality that is competing to see who can come up with better ideas.
STOP TALKING! PAY ATTENTION!
Back to the inner workings that go on at CD's apartment. CD had a lavish bed, it was fourteen feet wide by eighteen feet in length. It was extended eight and a half feet off the ground. He has a series of ladders and lifts to get to the top. The mattress was three feet thick. It was one of the most comfortable beds I'd seen in my time. How long I or CD have been around is not known. Next to his bed he had a chimpanzee that had a laptop attached to his stomach. Don't worry, it caused the chimpanzee no harm. This was an evolutionary trait that Chimpanzees had gained over time, once again, I don't know how long it took because of the clock situation. A great deal of the time that CD was sleeping wasn't truly spent sleeping. This is why the next morning he was always groggy and wanted more sleep. The chimpanzee who has a name, that name being Jack Jill Patrice, recorded everything that CD uttered. This was very time consuming. Like an all day job. Some of the mutterings that CD muttered were just pointless babble ranging from how grass should be orange and trees should be powder blue. Don't ask me why he mentioned these things.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
True Story: Part 2
CD somehow amongst all his napping and sleeping knew about this problem and hired a group of over sized praying mantises to come in after the robots and fight them until they got back to work. These fights were epic. Neither side could ever pull out a victory. However, the fights would rage for hours. How long? NO ONE KNEW! Their fricking clocks didn't work, remember?! Anyway neither the over sized praying mantises nor the robot would ever be victorious. And CD knew this too. For he had been charging people to come view these fights every night for at least a decade.
The following for these fights had become almost unreal. There were sections of town that followed the robots or the mantises so closely that they at highest of obsession had formed their own churches. These churches really didn't believe that a robot or a mantis was God. But, instead a lower class of god. One that could provide a light in the dark times that his community was going through. Now, I know I said there was groups of both mantises and robots. But really the fight was focused on one of each. For the mantises his name was Mantis and for the robots, his name was The Robot. If members of the church of the Mantis crossed paths with members of the Fellowship of the Mighty Robot, both sides would stay civil, but immediately after passing each other would begin muttering how their preferred leader was better.
During church both churches had very serious rituals.
For the church of the Mantis every time that CD would do so, the rest of the church would follow his lead and get down on their knees, put their forearms on the pew in front of them and hiss nonstop or until the first person passed out, this was normally an elderly man or an infant that couldn't support his or her own head yet... The newborn typical fell over within, I would guess six seconds, I couldn't tell for certain because there are no functioning clocks. Even the second hands periodically stop just to throw you off.
In the Fellowship of the Mighty Robot CD would lead the group of Robot crazed followers as he would flail his arms about while saying "Danger, Danger!" This would normally go on until an elderly woman was smacked side the head and knocked unconscious.
If you're picking up on something, you're probably picking up on that CD leads both churches. And you're probably wondering if anyone has a problem with that. The answer to that question is a resounding..... no.
The following for these fights had become almost unreal. There were sections of town that followed the robots or the mantises so closely that they at highest of obsession had formed their own churches. These churches really didn't believe that a robot or a mantis was God. But, instead a lower class of god. One that could provide a light in the dark times that his community was going through. Now, I know I said there was groups of both mantises and robots. But really the fight was focused on one of each. For the mantises his name was Mantis and for the robots, his name was The Robot. If members of the church of the Mantis crossed paths with members of the Fellowship of the Mighty Robot, both sides would stay civil, but immediately after passing each other would begin muttering how their preferred leader was better.
During church both churches had very serious rituals.
For the church of the Mantis every time that CD would do so, the rest of the church would follow his lead and get down on their knees, put their forearms on the pew in front of them and hiss nonstop or until the first person passed out, this was normally an elderly man or an infant that couldn't support his or her own head yet... The newborn typical fell over within, I would guess six seconds, I couldn't tell for certain because there are no functioning clocks. Even the second hands periodically stop just to throw you off.
In the Fellowship of the Mighty Robot CD would lead the group of Robot crazed followers as he would flail his arms about while saying "Danger, Danger!" This would normally go on until an elderly woman was smacked side the head and knocked unconscious.
If you're picking up on something, you're probably picking up on that CD leads both churches. And you're probably wondering if anyone has a problem with that. The answer to that question is a resounding..... no.
A departure from my story to share this
I had a dream last night. No. Not in the same sense as Martin Luther King JR., but it went like this.
I was going to talk to my pastor and when I got there he said "Hey Justin we are all going to a pizza place so I can't really talk now, but would you like to go get some pizza with all of us." I said "Sure, but I have to work in a few hours so I will need to get back soon."
So I ate pizza, talked for a while and then out of nowhere a bus to take people to see friends in family in the Marine base that was in Marlette, Michigan was about to depart.
That was weird enough because there would never be an army, marine, air force, coast guard or any base in Marlette. Nonetheless I got on the bus to see my friend Rob Shadley, who is not in or never been in any armed service division. I got there and I talked to Rob for a while before some jackass Marine decided he wanted to kick my ass, I told him "I don't really want to fight you because I have to get to work soon." He insisted so I kicked his ass. And the rest of the Marines broke it up and got in my face, but they said "This guy is an asshole and no one likes him." So they finished the job and nearly killed him.
At this point I got on the bus to take me back. I get back to where my vehicle was supposed to be but it was gone! I was freaking by this point. SO I started frantically running around the entire town of Marlette. Out of no where I see my Astro Van. The only problem is that February I got in a car accident in which I rolled the astro van three times and landed in a drainage ditch full of ice water. This van in my dream had the same damage done to it. All windows smashed and blown out, every tire exploded and so on. I got in and drove to Rite Aid. By this time I was about an hour and a half late. I got there and instead of being able to walk through the front door I had to squeeze my way through little holes of a barn that was full of hay. I finally got through all of this before I reached a hole that was far to small for me to fit in. So I had to squeeze my way all the way back out
run three blocks around to the front of the building.
I ran in there and explained what happened and apologized. There was a woman in the corner that I didn't know. My boss told me she had to fire me and hire Karen. Karen was the woman in the corner. She would start immediately.
The end.
Now I have to get to Rite Aid before three p.m.
AHHHHH
Weird.
I was going to talk to my pastor and when I got there he said "Hey Justin we are all going to a pizza place so I can't really talk now, but would you like to go get some pizza with all of us." I said "Sure, but I have to work in a few hours so I will need to get back soon."
So I ate pizza, talked for a while and then out of nowhere a bus to take people to see friends in family in the Marine base that was in Marlette, Michigan was about to depart.
That was weird enough because there would never be an army, marine, air force, coast guard or any base in Marlette. Nonetheless I got on the bus to see my friend Rob Shadley, who is not in or never been in any armed service division. I got there and I talked to Rob for a while before some jackass Marine decided he wanted to kick my ass, I told him "I don't really want to fight you because I have to get to work soon." He insisted so I kicked his ass. And the rest of the Marines broke it up and got in my face, but they said "This guy is an asshole and no one likes him." So they finished the job and nearly killed him.
At this point I got on the bus to take me back. I get back to where my vehicle was supposed to be but it was gone! I was freaking by this point. SO I started frantically running around the entire town of Marlette. Out of no where I see my Astro Van. The only problem is that February I got in a car accident in which I rolled the astro van three times and landed in a drainage ditch full of ice water. This van in my dream had the same damage done to it. All windows smashed and blown out, every tire exploded and so on. I got in and drove to Rite Aid. By this time I was about an hour and a half late. I got there and instead of being able to walk through the front door I had to squeeze my way through little holes of a barn that was full of hay. I finally got through all of this before I reached a hole that was far to small for me to fit in. So I had to squeeze my way all the way back out
run three blocks around to the front of the building.
I ran in there and explained what happened and apologized. There was a woman in the corner that I didn't know. My boss told me she had to fire me and hire Karen. Karen was the woman in the corner. She would start immediately.
The end.
Now I have to get to Rite Aid before three p.m.
AHHHHH
Weird.
Monday, December 14, 2009
True Story: Part 1
Listen:
I woke up today and I was tired. It just so happened that a man who doesn't have a name woke up and did the same thing. Where he lives is as unimportant as a horse sniffing glue. Even though he doesn't have a name his name is Cough Depressant. Now, answer me this, would you rather have that name or no name? Case closed. We all would pick Cough Depressant.
Anyway, CD woke up and was excruciatingly tired. He said to himself "Shit, I should have got more sleep last night." He replied to himself, saying "Stop your whining, seriously, you're pathetic, you got 23 hours of sleep last night!" "You liar, I only got 17 and a half!" "No you didn't!" Anyway, this went on for some time. Finally, after CD had exhausted himself into a heavy sweat he decided he better take a nap. Both sides of him agreed with that strategy.
CD slept for quite a long time. I couldn't be sure the exact length of time because none of his clocks work in his apartment. As a matter of fact, where he is from a working clock that maintains the correct time is outlawed and punishable by having all of the toes of the accused person pulled until cracked, not broken, just the knuckle in the toe, (if there is one) cracked; a good, loud, healthy pop!
PAY ATTENTION!
Most of CD's clocks purposely were set to shut off every three and a half hours, that is if that's actually what time they shut off, others were set to randomly turn to whatever damn time they felt. It was a crazy world inside his apartment. Some of the clocks were operated to stay at the wrong time by sloths. The sloths did a good job, but the clocks they maintained could almost always be counted on being behind. Others were operated by hummingbirds that some how continuously were taking amphetamines. Those clocks could ALWAYS be counted on being WAY WAY ahead.
There was a group of penguins that did all the custodial work around his apartment. They came in every day for give or take fourteen hours. They did a great job, besides all the fish and poop they left behind. So to clean up after the penguins CD hired a group of narcissistic robots. They were there for the reminder of the day give or take 9 hours. The robots didn't get much work done. They picked up some of the poop and most of the fish each day, but unfortunately for CD he had mirrors by each of the trash receptacles in his apartment. The robots every time they were throwing whatever hunk of junk away would gaze for unknown periods of time at themselves lovingly in the mirror.
I woke up today and I was tired. It just so happened that a man who doesn't have a name woke up and did the same thing. Where he lives is as unimportant as a horse sniffing glue. Even though he doesn't have a name his name is Cough Depressant. Now, answer me this, would you rather have that name or no name? Case closed. We all would pick Cough Depressant.
Anyway, CD woke up and was excruciatingly tired. He said to himself "Shit, I should have got more sleep last night." He replied to himself, saying "Stop your whining, seriously, you're pathetic, you got 23 hours of sleep last night!" "You liar, I only got 17 and a half!" "No you didn't!" Anyway, this went on for some time. Finally, after CD had exhausted himself into a heavy sweat he decided he better take a nap. Both sides of him agreed with that strategy.
CD slept for quite a long time. I couldn't be sure the exact length of time because none of his clocks work in his apartment. As a matter of fact, where he is from a working clock that maintains the correct time is outlawed and punishable by having all of the toes of the accused person pulled until cracked, not broken, just the knuckle in the toe, (if there is one) cracked; a good, loud, healthy pop!
PAY ATTENTION!
Most of CD's clocks purposely were set to shut off every three and a half hours, that is if that's actually what time they shut off, others were set to randomly turn to whatever damn time they felt. It was a crazy world inside his apartment. Some of the clocks were operated to stay at the wrong time by sloths. The sloths did a good job, but the clocks they maintained could almost always be counted on being behind. Others were operated by hummingbirds that some how continuously were taking amphetamines. Those clocks could ALWAYS be counted on being WAY WAY ahead.
There was a group of penguins that did all the custodial work around his apartment. They came in every day for give or take fourteen hours. They did a great job, besides all the fish and poop they left behind. So to clean up after the penguins CD hired a group of narcissistic robots. They were there for the reminder of the day give or take 9 hours. The robots didn't get much work done. They picked up some of the poop and most of the fish each day, but unfortunately for CD he had mirrors by each of the trash receptacles in his apartment. The robots every time they were throwing whatever hunk of junk away would gaze for unknown periods of time at themselves lovingly in the mirror.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
True Story
Ok....
So. I was going to write a short little story. But it has evolved into something that i want to work a little more on. I have to work at 8 am. So I need to sleep. I won't be able to finish it tonight.
I will let you read it soon.
Yours,
Justin
So. I was going to write a short little story. But it has evolved into something that i want to work a little more on. I have to work at 8 am. So I need to sleep. I won't be able to finish it tonight.
I will let you read it soon.
Yours,
Justin
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Things that go blog in the night
Things that go blog in the night.
First off-
Me.
Hi!
Secondly-
Passive Aggressive.
Don't be passive aggressive.
Don't say no big deal and then the next day take it as it was a giant deal. That is not a very good trait to have.
Thirstly-
:)
I don't even remember what tangent I was on seeing I stopped mid-post to play hockey and read the end of a book I should have had read a long time ago. Great book by the way. Read SIRENS OF TITANS BY KURT VONNEGUT.
My goodness it's snowed a lot since I looked out the window. I can see it now, children half asleep-half awake hoping for snow days. I love snow days too. I do not love staying up all night hoping for a snow day only for the snow day to NEVER COME! AHHHHH. I have Christmas music stuck in my head because of Rite Aid. They play some absolutely terribly wretched music on that radio. And yet, they randomly played Death Cab for Cutie!? Makes no sense to me.
War is over, if you want it.
I need to try to sleep.
Night.
First off-
Me.
Hi!
Secondly-
Passive Aggressive.
Don't be passive aggressive.
Don't say no big deal and then the next day take it as it was a giant deal. That is not a very good trait to have.
Thirstly-
:)
I don't even remember what tangent I was on seeing I stopped mid-post to play hockey and read the end of a book I should have had read a long time ago. Great book by the way. Read SIRENS OF TITANS BY KURT VONNEGUT.
My goodness it's snowed a lot since I looked out the window. I can see it now, children half asleep-half awake hoping for snow days. I love snow days too. I do not love staying up all night hoping for a snow day only for the snow day to NEVER COME! AHHHHH. I have Christmas music stuck in my head because of Rite Aid. They play some absolutely terribly wretched music on that radio. And yet, they randomly played Death Cab for Cutie!? Makes no sense to me.
War is over, if you want it.
I need to try to sleep.
Night.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Hello Friends
I know that all of you have been salivating, waiting, watching, refreshing your preferred web browser to see the newest installment of my life and... sadly... you've all been disappointed for several days in a row. There is a variety of reasons.
1. I have felt like absolute death since Wednesday morning. This has me currently speaking with no voice, in pain to swallow, fever that comes and goes. And that's after like four days. great times.
2. Google disabled my adsense account and that really pissed me off. They said I have "invalid click." Their explanation makes no sense. So that upset me. I appealed, but it takes them two weeks to check emails I guess.
Anyway,
I haven't really felt up to writing because I have been sleeping and working at Rite Aid and that's really about it.
Today
I woke up at 7. WAS SO TIRED. Got dressed.
I had the idea to go to Mcdonald's and get some breakfast. However, I took my sweet time getting ready because I was fricking tired, and felt like fricking crap. So, I pulled into Mcdonalds at about 7:38. I ordered a bacon egg bagel meal without WITHOUT breakfast sauce. I had to do this with my door open, as my window decided to be completely frozen shut. I had to do this with my voice dead and pain in speaking. I had to do all of this in by the time I got to Rite Aid, my hashbrown was gone and still, no one was at work, I don't have a key. So I decided to eat. I pull out the sandwich to find............ A STEAK AND EGG BAGEL! HEY MY STEAK AND EGGS! I wouldn't mind this sandwich, but I've cooked them before, in my time of McDonald's land fun and basically it's an onion steak. So. I threw the sandwich back in the bag and sat there.
Work was like this.
7:45 a.m.
Freezing.
7:50
Putting ads in the newspapers of the papers that got delivered there. I guess that I do the papers job too?
8:15-3:05
Walking around the store putting sale stickers all over everything. This is like my third day. I know where nothing in that store is unless I have bought that product or something like that product before. This was fun. Here is an example of the description.
Men's/Women's
Long Sleeve Print Tee.
Yup... I will just run that right over to the clothes section.......... OH WAIT... It's a rite aid.
Also, I talked to a guy that needed stool softener.... REAL BAD. I asked with my barely able to speak voice "Is there a specific brand you would like?" He said "One that works and works good and quick!" I hung out trying to find a good one for him for about another 5 minutes and every little noise or comment he made I tried my hardest not to laugh as all I could think about is how constipated that guy was.
My brain hurts.
Night
1. I have felt like absolute death since Wednesday morning. This has me currently speaking with no voice, in pain to swallow, fever that comes and goes. And that's after like four days. great times.
2. Google disabled my adsense account and that really pissed me off. They said I have "invalid click." Their explanation makes no sense. So that upset me. I appealed, but it takes them two weeks to check emails I guess.
Anyway,
I haven't really felt up to writing because I have been sleeping and working at Rite Aid and that's really about it.
Today
I woke up at 7. WAS SO TIRED. Got dressed.
I had the idea to go to Mcdonald's and get some breakfast. However, I took my sweet time getting ready because I was fricking tired, and felt like fricking crap. So, I pulled into Mcdonalds at about 7:38. I ordered a bacon egg bagel meal without WITHOUT breakfast sauce. I had to do this with my door open, as my window decided to be completely frozen shut. I had to do this with my voice dead and pain in speaking. I had to do all of this in by the time I got to Rite Aid, my hashbrown was gone and still, no one was at work, I don't have a key. So I decided to eat. I pull out the sandwich to find............ A STEAK AND EGG BAGEL! HEY MY STEAK AND EGGS! I wouldn't mind this sandwich, but I've cooked them before, in my time of McDonald's land fun and basically it's an onion steak. So. I threw the sandwich back in the bag and sat there.
Work was like this.
7:45 a.m.
Freezing.
7:50
Putting ads in the newspapers of the papers that got delivered there. I guess that I do the papers job too?
8:15-3:05
Walking around the store putting sale stickers all over everything. This is like my third day. I know where nothing in that store is unless I have bought that product or something like that product before. This was fun. Here is an example of the description.
Men's/Women's
Long Sleeve Print Tee.
Yup... I will just run that right over to the clothes section.......... OH WAIT... It's a rite aid.
Also, I talked to a guy that needed stool softener.... REAL BAD. I asked with my barely able to speak voice "Is there a specific brand you would like?" He said "One that works and works good and quick!" I hung out trying to find a good one for him for about another 5 minutes and every little noise or comment he made I tried my hardest not to laugh as all I could think about is how constipated that guy was.
My brain hurts.
Night
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
What if this is how I wrote?
Lorem ipsum vim ut utroque mandamus intellegebat, ut eam omittam ancillae sadipscing, per et eius soluta veritus.
!kfja>!?!
JAZM!@#G
MONDKAE!
!kfja>!?!
JAZM!@#G
MONDKAE!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
My first day as an associate.
Hello everyone,
This story has to do with me. Can you believe it, me, writing about, me!? I can! Wow!
I got up today and made a deal with my gf and a bunch of my friends not to drink for 59 days. Then I brushed my teeth. I waited a little bit to shower. I then showered. I then played hockey on xbox live with Kevin for a while. I then stopped and got ready to go to Rite Aid. Dress code stipulates that the male employees have to wear a shirt and tie. For those of you who didn't know, I am not a big fan of tucking in my shirt, let's not even say I'm the slightest fan of it. But I did it. And have to.
The first thing I have to say about working at Rite Aid is that I never in my life knew that had as many products as they have. Holy hell. Not only are there the normal products, but then you have the Rite Aid version of them. And things just get out of control from they, eventually it trickles down to the Justin Marshall version of products. And after that, the death version of products, by merely holding the product in your hand for eight or more seconds, instant death arises.
Half way through my shift a giant crab man walked in. He wanted us all dead. We kindly declined the offer and he left.
3/4 way through my shift, I took a 15 minute break.
4/4 way through my shift. I left.
4/4=1
Justin= can't stop watching South Park, and really doesn't have a problem with it.
:D
Yours,
Janet D. Academia Normandy Bed Nomad
This story has to do with me. Can you believe it, me, writing about, me!? I can! Wow!
I got up today and made a deal with my gf and a bunch of my friends not to drink for 59 days. Then I brushed my teeth. I waited a little bit to shower. I then showered. I then played hockey on xbox live with Kevin for a while. I then stopped and got ready to go to Rite Aid. Dress code stipulates that the male employees have to wear a shirt and tie. For those of you who didn't know, I am not a big fan of tucking in my shirt, let's not even say I'm the slightest fan of it. But I did it. And have to.
The first thing I have to say about working at Rite Aid is that I never in my life knew that had as many products as they have. Holy hell. Not only are there the normal products, but then you have the Rite Aid version of them. And things just get out of control from they, eventually it trickles down to the Justin Marshall version of products. And after that, the death version of products, by merely holding the product in your hand for eight or more seconds, instant death arises.
Half way through my shift a giant crab man walked in. He wanted us all dead. We kindly declined the offer and he left.
3/4 way through my shift, I took a 15 minute break.
4/4 way through my shift. I left.
4/4=1
Justin= can't stop watching South Park, and really doesn't have a problem with it.
:D
Yours,
Janet D. Academia Normandy Bed Nomad
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